Love Thy Neighbor
Monica Kaye
Copyright © 2008, Monica Kaye, All Rights Reserved

“What the fuck?!?”

Yolie Wilson stop short as she entered her apartment. Her briefcase clattered to the ground as it slipped from her suddenly lifeless fingers as her eyes were riveted to the large pink plastic chair that had somehow taken residence in her home.

She strode over to the massive pink obscenity that sat smack dab in the middle of her neat, impeccably decorated living room. The bright neon color stood out like…well, the big pink cock that stood up at least eight inches from the center of the pink plastic monstrosity. The sight was made even more obscene by the giant pink bow that encircled the head of the fake dick.

Who in the world would send her such a thing? Even before the question was finished, she knew the answer.

Chandra. It had to be. Her cousin delighted in finding ever more inventive ways to embarrass Yolie with each passing birthday. It seemed that for Yolie’s thirtieth birthday, Chandra had decided to go all out.

Yolie snatched at the card dangling from the gaily wrapped penis, careful not to actually make contact with it.

Sure enough, the card read, “Everyone should get laid on their thirtieth birthday. You’re no exception. Love, Chandra.”

“Love Chandra, my ass,” Yolie bit out as she marched over to the phone and punched in her cousin’s number. Her toe beat a rapid staccato on her gleaming hardwood floor as the phone rang. And rang. And rang. The coward wasn’t picking up so she listened with barely restrained impatience as her cousin’s disgustingly cheerful voice filled her ear.

“Hi, you’ve reached Chandra. I’m not available right now. I’m either away from my phone or under some really hot guy. But leave a message and I’ll call you back. Oh, and if this is Yolie, I hope you liked my gift.” Beep.
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